A Note for the Caregiver

Nobody sends the caregiver anything. These notes are the part of the box that isn't a task — no instructions, nothing to do, nothing to get right. They exist to be read in the ten quiet minutes you get, and to say out loud what most families never hear.

• After a hard day, once the house has gone quiet.
• In the car before you go back inside.
• On the days you feel guilty for being tired.
• When you need to be reminded that this is hard because it is hard, not because you're failing.

• Read one, not all of them. Save the rest for the days you'll need them.
• Keep one where you'll see it — mirror, kettle, dashboard.
• Put your phone face down for the length of one note.
• Send a photo of one to another caregiver who would understand.

Your steadiness is the most therapeutic thing in the room, and it is a resource you can run out of. Protecting it isn't self-indulgence — it's part of the care plan.

• Don't save these for when things get bad enough. That day always moves.
• Don't measure yourself against how you handled last month.
• Don't apologise for needing something that is only yours.

• Write your own on the blank side, dated, on a good day — to be read on a bad one.
• Name one thing that went right today, however small.
• Add the phone number of the person you can call without explaining anything.